being safe since 1973

Ive got one of these and its pretty good.


I’ve been wanting to type this up for a long while, but since The FA announced their latest innitiative ‘Repect’ it has inspired me to write something down on my views. All these initiatives are all very well, but lets face it they don’t work, and never will because the players are ignorant, stupid and hold too much power in the modern game.

The whole concept of football is based on cheating, deceiving the referee and money, and its an ugly game because of it. The powers that be, namely The FA, FIFA and UEFA could have nipped this in the bud years ago and the game that we watch today would be much better for it.

In all my years of watching sport, football  has to be the most ridiculous over-hyped and infuriating game of the bunch, and to make it back to the game I once enjoyed would take a few simple steps:

1) Referees and the rules: CONSISTENCY.

There are way to many rules that are open to interpretation, was the player ‘interfering’ with play for example. If he is offside, he is offside, lets get rid of this ‘he was facing the other way’, ‘was coming back from an offside position’. NO, he was offside, freekick. The Governing bodies need to make sure these are enforced and back their referees.  Apply the rules, the actual rules not an interpretation of the rule, the ACTUAL rule.

2) The players: HONESTY.

This is where the whole game is ruined in my book and is a plague on the sport itself. Im sick of seeing players pretending to be injured, diving to ‘win’ fouls (and get opponents sent off), and badgering referees in packs. Its a complete and utter lack of respect and a joke. To make it worse its so blatantly obvious what they’re are doing its laughable. Sky Sports must take dozens of cameras to a football match they’re covering so all these incidents are scrutinised and seen from several different angles, so a player launching themselves on the floor after not being touched and roll around clutching their ankles and shins is a complete embarrassment. Do they not feel ashamed of themselves once they’ve seen the replays on TV?

A pack of players shouting ‘HEY AY AY HEY HEY’ with expressions of complete rage on their faces whilst all them are stood 12 inches from the ref needs to be punished, here comes that ‘respect’ word again, only the captain should be able to address the referee in regards to an on field decision. If a decsition goes against you I don’t want to see a player shout ‘FUCK OFF” to the ref, they should be sent off for crap like that. You only have to look at other sports for an example of how respecting the referee can work, namely Rugby League and the NFL.

Also the little things are getting stupid, if Team A gets a throw in, a player from Team B cant even leave the ball alone, he has to throw it over the player wanting to take the throw, or he taps it 3 yards to his side. On a similar situation is if Team A gets a freekick, some player from team B stands in front off the ball or pretend he was running that way anyway, Just get the hell out of the way or be booked.

Pinching yards is another annoyance, if a team is awarded a throw in, then the player taking it shouldn’t be allowed to move forward of that position, stop all the ‘pulling out’ of the throw, in essence walking 10yards further up the pitch from where its supposed to be taken from, or alternatively doing all that then give ball to another player to take the throw, who then gains another 5 yards. The referee needs to specify where the throw should be taken from, and NO FURTHER forward, or the players get booked. The same applies to free kicks, the skidding of the ball with some backspin to move ball several yards forward several times is stupid. Look at the NFL, 22 players end up in a pile on the floor with the ball in the middle, they all get themselves up on their feet, yes they help their opponents up too and every one of them steps over and leaves the ball alone, letting the referee get it and place it where it needs to be to carry on with the game, no messing about

Lets look at yet another scenario, Team A get a free kick outside the penalty box, the referee paces out the required yardage that Team B have to stand at. The ref turns his back and gets into his position, Team B shuffle 2 yards forward, the referee escorts them back and once again they shuffle forwards. This is all wasting time, if the referee needs to book all 7 players in the wall, then book them all. The players are breaking the rules by not staying the correct distance from the ball, they wont do it again if they are booked every time. Its not difficult, and they would soon learn about respecting the rules if half the team cant play because of suspension.

Commentators and pundits as well as ex-players don’t help the situation with comments like ‘he’s been clever there and ‘gone to ground’. What kind of statement is that? Gone to ground, in my book means he has dived, being touched by an opponent is not a foul and certain doesn’t warrant throwing your self on the floor, football is a physical sport, so you’re going to get contact, and not every instance of this means you fall over like you’ve been shot. Its so obvious its laughable and UEFA were meant to clamp down on this years ago, and like everything the governing bodies are powerless and weak and wont enforce it, its just lip service.

3) Technology:

How hard can it be to use a replay to decide if the ball crossed the line or not? Im sick of hearing all the crap about it slowing the game down, it wont slow it anymore than the current system where all the players and management screaming and arguing about it for 10mins. They can manage to use a system called Hawkeye in Tennis and Cricket for seeing if the ball was out, or was going to hit the wickets or not respectively. The ball is much small and faster (in most cases) in those sports, so applying it to football really cant be difficult. But instead the governing body wont implement it, but instead mess about by using a couple of extra officials on the goal line

4) Money:

There needs to be a cap on wages, how can you justify a player earning £250k a week? its obscene, even the top teams are millions and millions of pounds in debt just to pay these players, how can players as employees of a team earn more than the manager and chairman? its like me walking into a job in an office and earning more money than the Managing Director / CEO, it makes no logical sense. It would also be nice to see players honour their contracts, because as it stands the contracts aren’t worth the paper they’re written on. A player signs a new 4 year contract in November worth more than his existing one, come January he signs for the flavour of the month club attracting a signing on fee, and his contract with his now former club goes in the bin. Pointless.

5) Sepp Blatter

He hasn’t a clue.

You may think Im one of those people that doesn’t like football, which isn’t the case. I have supported Leeds United since I was a kid, and yes I was gutted when they got relegated from the Premier League after the times we were playing the likes of the Barcelona and Lazio etc in the Champions League. But now they are in the Championship and pushing for promotion I’m hoping they don’t actually get promoted because I think that the Premier League has got worse and is the root cause of all the problems I’ve listed so far, albeit easy ones to fix. I feel football is a much better game outside of the Premier League without the obscene amount of cash and bullshit thats associated with it, i.e. two teams playing a GAME of football.

Stop the huge wages, give the authority back to the referees and governing bodies and away from agents, managers and lawyers, in a nutshell make football a sport and a game again.

Ive nothing to post this week, so here are some videos that I have saved in my YouTube favourites. Enjoy.

A cat and a misbehaving printer

Mrs Mac’s Pies

Wheelchair pitch invasion (poor quality)

Classic Chris Kamara misses a sending off.

An awesome orange!

A classic Family Guy clip, over

I dont know why, but this amuses me!

Timeless classic sketch from Monty Python

A girl, a slingshot and a quad bike. It writes itself

Something about Google

Ok folks, thats your lot. Seeya next week, ish :)


Sorry, nothing to see here today

Subject to change.

Im a pretty easy going bloke generally speaking, however, theres quite a few things that other people do that really piss me off. Here are a few examples:

The Sniffer:

Yep you know the person, the person who rather than blow their nose much prefers to sniff every 10 seconds. Great! Theres nothing more I like than hearing the contents of your nasal passage going up and down your schnozzle. Why don’t you just blow your nose and you don’t NEED to sniff anymore and the problem is solved. Of course, on top of that you can have the  ‘hawker’ that can be added to the sniffer. The ‘hawker’ this time is nearly always a guy. Its the throaty dislodging of phlegm usually accompanied with a head movement and an exaggerated swallow. You’re horrid, shut up!

The Nail Biter:

WHY? I have no idea why people can sit and literally chew their hands off for such a long time. They inspect each of their none existent fingernails so very attentively and then proceed to nibble and scrape away at where their nails should be, there is of course that really tricky piece of nothing that requires extra support and leverage from the other hand. The nail biter is oblivious to everything else thats going on around them and focus so intently on biting their nails, and thanks for spitting out bits of nail and skin, that really makes me happy. Mucky bastards.

The Foot Dragger:

This person you can hear coming from 50 yards away, whilst walking (read: shuffle) they drag their heels a few inches during their step, the classic foot dragger has a worn down heel of their shoe, usually on an angle. Kids do this usually when they are sulking, and when I occasionally did it as a kid my parents used to tell me to ‘pick your feet up’. I grew out of it. So if you’re an annoying shuffling cripple bastard please lift your feet up correctly, its easier to walk without friction and you might save on shoes.

The Loud iPod Person:

Way back when Walkmans were invented it was the first time you could take your music wherever you went, which was great, the generic name for such a device was ‘Personal Stereo’, yep, ‘PERSONAL’, not ‘IVE GOT TWO 9000W SPEAKERS STUCK TO MY HEAD’. I don’t know about you but I love my iPod and use it pretty much wherever I go, I’ve ripped my own CDs and bought music digitally and not one track/album is so excessively loud that people in another continent can hear it. So how in the hell can something so small be so loud? My iPod doesn’t go that loud, so where do people buy these sodding music players/music from?

One of these days Im going to get an old baked bean can and fill it with gravel, and sit behind a person with a loud ipod and shake it next to their head, see how they like it! Or Im going to carry a pair of scissors and chop the cables to their headphones!

The Phone User:

Everyone has a mobile phone these days, and thats fair enough but please don’t conduct your personal business in public, I don’t want to know what Janet said to Gary last night, and why do you shout? Theres absolutely no need, you can talk at a normal volume and the other person can hear you fine, turn it down!!!!!

Then theres the person that has to pace up and down for no apparent reason whilst talking, whats the point? Keep still!

Additionally, there are the people who once they have their phone to their head or in their hand ‘texting’ everything else doesn’t exist, whether it being other pedestrians or even traffic as they cross the road (without looking). The dirty look they give to anyone or anything that gets in ‘their way’ is priceless, Im sorry if I got in your way as you made a sudden 90 degree turn without paying attention. See that bus? Walk in front of it. Knob.

The ‘Over Gay’ Guy:

Ok, some blokes are  gay, thats fair enough and if thats your thing I haven’t got a problem with it, but you don’t have to ram your gayness down my throat (stop sniggering at the back). Theres absolutely no need to walk with smaller steps than is required to walk the speed you want to, with your arms out to the side, its called mincing and there is no need for it. Its the ‘look at me I’m gay’ attitude that annoys me, not the fact they are gay. Nobody cares when a stranger walks past, and the last thing that crosses my mind is their sexuality. The ‘over gay’ guy suffers from the ‘littlest thing is a drama’ syndrome. Tight jeans went out of fashion in the 80’s by the way. You want to be seen as normal, so please act like a normal human being, not a freak show, you’re not helping yourself and your ilk.

I think thats enough annoyances for one day, I might do a follow up  post at a later date when someone else bugs me :)

Thanks for reading.


The answer to this question is simple, Team Fortress 2 is bloody good fun.

For those that don’t know, its primarily a class based First Person Shooter, in a cartoony style, infact here is Valve’s description of it from their site

Team Fortress® 2 (TF2) is the sequel to the game that put class-based, multiplayer team warfare on the map. This year’s most anticipated online action game, TF2 delivers new gametypes, a signature art style powered by Valve’s next generation animation technology, persistent player statistics, and more.

Unlike other “class-based” games that offer a variety of combat classes only, Team Fortress 2 packs a wild variety of classes which provide a broad range of tactical abilities and personalities, and lend themselves to a variety of player skills.

Play as the flame-throwing Pyro, the room clearing Heavy, or the Spy, a master of disguises. Other classes include: Scout, Sniper, Medic, Engineer, Demoman, or Soldier.

For a game that came out in 2007 its still being updated  by the developers Valve 3 years on, tweaking the game adding new stuff and all this for free, no DLC, no charge, for free, bugger all. Valve and their Steam system in my opinion is an awesome way of digitally distributing games, and the fact they have now started to make Mac versions is a bonus :)

It’s really quite amazing that the majority of times I play, and I have put in over 1200 hours is that I have a blast. I always play on the Simiancage servers, a really nice core base of regular players, a good time is generally had by all.

On top of that, its not a game like many others, whereby if you don’t get the game the day of release you’ll be ‘pwned’ every time you play, the learning curve is nice and shallow yet the good players do shine through, but like I started this post, its just fun whether your team wins or loses, Valve’s sense of humour really shines through with the style of the characters, the voices and the rag-doll effects are second to none make it an all round winner in my book!

Go buy it now.


Here goes nothing……

WordPress have set a challenge, to post a blog everyday.

Well they can sod off, theres no way in hell I would do that, even if I had something to write about and got past the ‘I cant be arsed stage’ which those of you that know me whether online or in ‘real life’ will know. I set this blog up back in the summer (along with buying a domain to stick it on) with good intentions to put a little bit of what goes on in my head onto the internet, and as you can see the ‘cba factor’ took over and Ive only done a handful of posts since.

I read on, and WordPress have a challenge for lazy people like me too: “Post A Week 2011”. I think I can do that, It doesn’t take long to knock a few paragraphs together about my musings, opinions and thoughts so here I am.

I’ll probably post towards the end of the week about something thats grabbed my attention in the news, on the net or something thats happened to me during that week, theres also a chance I’ll post something from my iPhone or iPad when Im out and about if the urge takes me, unlikely as the mobile clients are a bit ropey to be honest, but you never know.

So standby, bookmark, add to your RSS feeds, we have lift off!



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